Rise and Grind

 


Nimeipenda zaidi nguo aliyovaa bibi harusi wakati wa reception jioni

 The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge leave Buckingham Palace the morning after their wedding.

How often have you heard a group of women each bashing their significant other [cosigning each other’s complaints] in some way, sounding as if they’re already one foot out the door of the relationship? “He’s a liar! He’s a cheater!” Well, what about you? It can’t always be the man’s fault. Let’s stop playing The Blame Game ladies and take a little responsibility for our own actions.
Why is it that we don’t like to look within to pinpoint some of our own faults? Maybe we all have this princess complex that we’ve carried around since childhood, feeling entitled to the world and are left feeling disappointed when a man offers us anything less than. I can name off at least five common faults off the top of my head that most women have possessed at some point in time.

• Whining/Freak Outs–It never wins. We zero in on one thing that bothers us and explain (read: complain) to our man over and over how it’s bothersome and we whine. You may think you’re bringing this up in some kind of open communication, but it always comes off as whining.

• Pressure–We forget to have fun and relax in relationships sometimes and end up putting pressure on the dude to commit. He may have been fully ready to do so, but our pushing left a sour taste in his mouth.

• Accuse–These are the ones that are typically the Robocops–stalking their man’s Twitter, Facebook, Emails or Blackberry, ready to pounce on him for any glimpse of an interaction with another woman. This always drives a man away.

• Mistrust–You tell him you can trust him, but you don’t. You almost fall in line with the accuser. You start coming up with conspiracy theories as to why whatever he says can’t be trusted.

• Control Freak–From his clothes, to his friends, to the relationship as a whole, you will not allow yourself to compromise with him. It’s your way or no way and there’s no way a man can take that for too long. We have to allow ourselves some type of vulnerability on both sides.

Saying all of this is not to say that men get off scott-free. Sometimes, they do things that cause us to walk away, but at times, it can be our fault. Typically women choose to play the victim when it comes to love and failed relationships and we blame men for everything, even our own feelings. When you really look at it, no one wants to feel at fault, so they avoid the guilt by blaming the other. Fault means failure and now with everyone so focused on winning , The Blame Game may become a perpetual problem in relationships. Seeing our own faults is often difficult, but it’s not impossible. We should all try a little harder to hold ourselves to the same standard that we do with our significant other. If you’re judging them, judge yourself. Game over.

                                                                      Eva Marcille

Napenda kuwakaribisha wote katika blogu hii,nia na dhumuni ni kushare ideas mbalimbali,kujifunza,kupeana moyo kwa walioanguka,kusaidiana inapowezekana na zaidi ya yote burudani na kufurahi.Nakaribisha michango mbalimbali ya mawazo na maoni hila kwa kuzingatia lugha nzuri na kuheshimiana.Karibuni na nawapenda sana